Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Weekend update: Princess time

So...I was in total princess mode this weekend. Sigh...What can I say!???

No one understands unless they are born that way, you know? It's so frustrating being around people who cant read your mind, who are always not following the protocol (Princess is always right!) and who are interrupting any sort of Princess activity.

It's tough being Princess Potato.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Beer Garden

This is what happens when you get yourself a huge handbag...and go to the beer garden.

No one wants to sit next to you!!!
And you look like a real tool taking up two seats.

Friday, June 26, 2009

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett & Michael Jackson :(

I know, I know...I cant believe it either!

It's so sad...for both of them. No more Jacko...no more Faboosh hair lady and all the O'Neal dramz.

They've both been around forever!

Guest starring Celeb potato courtesy of Conchita

...the weather :(

....maybe I just didnt get the memo about my recent move? ...but I feel like I've been living in London the past few weeks.

It's always raining in New York.

It's JUNE!!!

I'm tired of wearing my blue rubber boots and being laughed at and feeling like a Smurf. Boo!!!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

re: Exhibition Invites

Dear Staff,

In order to save on printing costs, we now are going to make our exhibition invitation cards by hand. Who doesn't like to receive a little original art in the mail?

Please practice forging the styles of each artist so you will be ready when his or her show comes around.

And instead of printing business cards, I suggest you write your details on cocktail napkins instead. If you aren't attending an event with napkins, you may want to write some at home in advance. That way, you can pull them out of your purse or pocket as seamlessly as if they were real business cards! Just remember to not use them as hankies.


*courtesy of Guest Contributor Eggplant*

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Recycling and Diet Coke

While consuming large quantities of Diet Coke, reading Twilight and day dreaming I had a great idea! (and I was also too lazy to take all the cans downstairs to the trash...hahahah). Diet Coke curlers!!!

It's so easy I cannot believe I haven't thought of this before!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Re: dishes

Dear Staff

As a cost cutting measure we have discontinued the use of water at the gallery (the toilet will still be functioning …please read special instructions below).

Bob the Scribe came up with an ingenious solution to our rising costs of operation. Let the rain wash the dishes!!! As you can tell Bob has taken it upon himself to set an example and the first load is already on the windowsill and is being ‘washed.’

Yes, yes, it might take some time and getting used to but just think of our Carbon Footprint!!! And the planet, and stuff.

Oh it would be great to maybe get a ‘dishes’ intern as we don’t want them just sitting out there giving other galleries ideas. Also for when clients come in. I don’t want them adding their dishes to our load.

As for utensils, please deposit them into the toilet at the end of day. Bob will be closing up the gallery and will remember to flush, and in turn ‘wash,’ them.

Take care!

re: computers

Dear Staff,

After much contemplation it seems that we cannot run a respectable, and profitable, business without the use of 'computers.'
Due to the rising cost of electricity (I mean common!!! right???) Bob the Scribe has come up with an ingenious solution!

Please find power converting bikes attached to your stations. As you pedal away your stress, hangovers, broken hearts and empty wallets, the bike will convert all that into a usable form of energy which will power your computers. How incredible is Bob? What an asset. He would like you to note that this should all work in 'theory' so you might have to pedal away for some time but I mean ... it's not like anything is really happening right?

Sending you happy thoughts and well wishes (please dont email me about your outstanding commissions, we shall discuss when I come back in December of 2010),
Your boss from Rehab

re: new addition

Dear Staff,

As a cost cutting measure we have quit use of all electronics (except for pagers).

Also please welcome our newest gallery staff member, Bob the Scribe!!! he will be here in place of any computers, phones, fax machines, and what have you's. Please feel free to relate all communication through him. He came highly recommended through my dear friends in Mexico where they tell me he has traveled to Brazil, Argentina, and most recently smuggled drugs into Texas. What an incredible fellow!!!

I will be starting my vacation today. Please do not contact me as I will be attending a 4-week cleanse program in the paradise mountains of Italy. I read all about it in Men's Vogue!!! It utilizes daily colonic and champagne. Oh Heavens!!!

Yours, Boss

re: email and phones

Dear Staff,

We have discontinued the use of email and phones. They are wasteful to our environment! (And Verizon has cut our lines).

From this moment forth please communicate via telepathy (see manual written in chalk on floor)!

Here's to a greener art world!

M. Boss


There's a first time for everything.
And then there's the second time. This is the second time.

Welcome to Potato's blog!!! :)
It should be a fun ride.

ps. I am not open to suggestions nor do I care to hear about Team Jacob and how he's so great. There's only two teams. Team Potato and Team Edward. Pfft.